Inconsequential News.

Guys, I am excited to share inconsequential news with you: Something I wrote was published in the New York Times!

Michelle Cottle wrote a poignant essay, ‘We Had No Idea What Was Coming’: Caring for My Aging Father (free gift link). On a whim, I wrote a response in a letter to the editor.

Editors are supposed to edit things, so of course my letter got edited. Here’s what got published:

Michelle Cottle’s excellent essay on the growing caregiver crisis includes the comment, “Never have I been so grateful not to be an only child.”

I, too, cared for my aging father. My mother was already deceased, and I have no siblings. The responsibilities were thus all mine.

As my father disintegrated, I was grateful that there was no ambiguity about next steps in his care. My friends with siblings who were also caring for aging parents experienced otherwise: They disagreed about how to manage finances, where their parent should live and the levels of care and interventions they should receive. As an only child, I was spared those burdens.

My beloved father was liberated this past February. There is a painful realization as the only child: No one else remembers my dad the way I do.

I guess the New York Times doesn’t like Oxford commas. (Probably because they take up valuable space.) And I’m honored to represent only children…?

You can read my beloved dad’s obituary here. That the New York Times chose to publish my letter seems, I suppose, like another gift from him. (Thanks, Dad.)