Category: Reflection

Shortly after I learned of the murder of Charlie Kirk, I thought of the manifesto from People Reluctant To Kill for an Abstraction. George Saunders wrote it in 2004:

Last Thursday, my organization, People Reluctant To Kill for an Abstraction, orchestrated an overwhelming show of force around the globe.

At precisely 9 in the morning, working with focus and stealth, our entire membership succeeded in simultaneously beheading no one. At 10, Phase II began…

It’s true. Millions of people around the world, despite whatever grievances they hold, somehow refrain from killing other people. Most people go through their entire lives without murdering a single person! If only this could be true for all people.

Since the world began, we have gone about our work quietly, resisting the urge to generalize, valuing the individual over the group, the actual over the conceptual, the inherent sweetness of the present moment over the theoretically peaceful future to be obtained via murder.

Do we all agree that words have meaning? Jamelle Bouie comments:

It is sometimes considered gauche, in the world of American political commentary, to give words the weight of their meaning. As this thinking goes, there might be real belief, somewhere, in the provocations of our pundits, but much of it is just performance, and it doesn’t seem fair to condemn someone for the skill of putting on a good show.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) uses this triangle as a model for our minds:

We can’t read minds, but we can infer what people are thinking about through their speech. Thoughts influence feelings and behaviors—and not just in ourselves, but in those who listen to what we say.

To be clear, no one deserves to be murdered because of what they say.

It is also true, though, that the words we use have the power to unite or divide, to cultivate love or hate. don Miguel Ruiz notes, “The first and most important of The Four Agreements is be impeccable with your word” because:

The word, as a symbol, has the magic and power of creation because it can reproduce an image, an idea, a feeling, or an entire story in your imagination. Just hearing the word horse can reproduce an entire image in your mind. That’s the power of a symbol.

We can cast magical spells with our words. How do you want to use the power of your words? What emotions or behaviors might manifest from the spells you cast?

Brian Kilmeade of Fox News cast a vile spell earlier this week in advocating that mentally ill homeless people should be executed:

Jones was talking on “Fox & Friends” on Wednesday about public money spent on trying to help homeless people and suggested that those who didn’t accept services offered to them should be jailed.

“Or involuntary lethal injection, or something,” Kilmeade said. “Just kill ‘em.”

Should Kilmeade be killed for making this obscene remark? No.

If we believe words are thoughts embodied, then we must believe that these words have meaning and can manifest in behaviors. What we say can affect what we and others do.

This is why we hold Kilmeade and all others who make hateful comments accountable for what they say. We will not repeat the mistake that Kilmeade made: We will recognize the humanity of all people, including him. One of the best ways we can humanize other people is to believe they meant what they said, even if we don’t agree with it. What Kilmeade said is abhorrent.

Millions of people around the world, despite whatever grievances they hold, somehow refrain from talking about killing other people. Many people go through their entire lives without talking about murdering a single person! If only this could be true for everyone.

Yang the Elder died at the age of 77 on February 8th, 2025. He would not approve of this obituary.

Mourning his death are his two older brothers, but his favorite (and only) child misses him the most.

He was born in Yangzhou, China, though, six months later, his parents scooped him and his three older brothers up and left the country. They settled in Taiwan and it was there that he met his future wife (who preceded him in death).

After graduating from college in Taichung with high marks and completing mandatory military service, he was accepted at the University of Detroit to earn a Master’s degree in applied math. This was his ticket to the United States to pursue the American Dream.

He was a computer programmer before it was cool. As one of the few people who knew how to operate mainframe computers, which occupied entire rooms, he had a productive career in systems programming. This amazing immigrant worked at major American corporations like IBM, Amtrak, Boeing, and McDonnell Douglas. It was with enthusiasm and wonder that he introduced his family to the “World Wide Web” in the early 1990s. He continued to be an early adopter of computer technology, which is why he used emojis with ease up until the last year of his life.

He loved the idea of America. He believed in and defended democracy. After the Tiananmen Square Massacre, he took his family to the federal building in Los Angeles to protest the Chinese government’s actions. Later, during what started out as a peaceful family picnic in Yosemite Valley at his favorite national park, he ended up arguing with tourists from China about how the Chinese government was wrong to kill their own people.

He appreciated many aspects of American culture: He never missed a senior discount shopping day. Music by Simon and Garfunkel, the Beatles, Judy Collins, and Stevie Wonder brought him pleasure. He continued to shout encouragement at the Washington Redskins (now Commanders) on TV even after the family moved to California. His collection of Converse shoes (all purchased on sale) was spectacular, particularly a maroon pair with matching polka-dot laces.

Kindness and courtesy were important to him: He learned the names of people who helped him and greeted them by name whenever he saw them. He routinely gave small snacks to familiar grocery clerks, building janitors, and the barber. He said “thank you” whenever the opportunity arose.

Lastly, he enjoyed being outside and taking long walks. If a tree was bearing fruit, he’d casually pluck one from a branch, peel it open, and taste it. He could identify all the skyscrapers in downtown Seattle by name. He always looked for life in the water and among the clouds.

Per his wishes, there will not be a funeral or memorial.

If you live in or around Seattle, his favorite parks included the Washington Arboretum, Seward Park, and Myrtle Edwards Park. Regardless of where you are, in his memory, take a walk outside and marvel at the trees, water, and sky.