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Consult-Liaison COVID-19 Homelessness Nonfiction Reflection

How One Psychiatrist is Coping with the Pandemic.

Context: I work as the medical director for an agency that provides shelter, permanent supportive housing, and crisis and behavioral health services. I also do clinical work there as a psychiatrist, where I see people in shelter, housing, and in clinic.[1. A few of the people I see agree to use telehealth, but those who have phones tend to prefer telephone over video.]

Like many other essential workers, my colleagues and I have worked long hours, spent even more hours worrying and planning, and have had to figure out how to manage ourselves in the midst of uncertainty. Though we have been fortunate to be able to move many people out of congregate settings into motel and hotel rooms,[2. Here are some anecdotes about what happens when people move from a congregate setting into their own room with a private bathroom, a bed, and a door that locks: 911 calls go down. People who previously did not routinely take showers start showering daily. Some people use less drugs; some people stop using drugs and alcohol completely. People start planning and taking steps towards goals, such as school, employment, financial planning, relationships.…] we still have some people staying in congregate settings, which is undesirable during a pandemic. Many of the people who stay in shelter and housing have significant and chronic medical problems, which makes us nervous that they will have worse outcomes if they contract Covid-19. I express gratitude every day—though maybe not out loud—for the very few cases that have occurred within the agency. With over 500 people in shelter (though, again, many have moved into motel and hotel rooms) and over 1000 people in permanent supportive housing, plus hundreds who have different living circumstances but are enrolled in our clinics, we thus far have had fewer than 50 positive cases of Covid-19.

The strain on staff is significant. People will have different memories of this pandemic: Some people (reportedly; I don’t personally know anyone who falls into this group) have expressed some relief during this time, as they have the time and resources to do things like learn new languages, travel to cute cabins in remote places, and other things that seem like fiction to me. Others have had to learn how to navigate congregate settings and provide care to people with significant health conditions in the absence of national guidelines and plans.[3. Do I sound resentful? I think the underlying emotion is disappointment.]

I don’t think people who are trained as psychiatrists are necessarily more skilled at coping during a pandemic, as none of us in the US[4. Recall that there have been epidemics in the recent past. I found Mental health and psychosocial support in ebola virus disease outbreaks and Protecting Mental Health During Epidemics helpful… and don’t get the sense that the CDC or other federal agencies have reviewed these articles and/or are interested in providing this sort of support to any of us. Am I still sounding resentful?] have ever lived through one. Here’s what I’ve been doing (or at least trying to do) to manage myself:

Get up early to do stuff to take care of me. (Because I wasn’t born a doctor and, God willing, I will be able to retire before I die.) I aim to get out of bed at 5am. This tends to be the quietest time of day and few, if any, people want or need my attention. The long summer days in Seattle make getting up that early easier, but, let’s be real: Sometimes the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Exercise. Sometimes this means what most people mean by the word “exercise”, like push-ups, squats, etc. Sometimes this means “movement”, which can be a one-person dance party. The face covering mandate has interfered with my willingness to run. I do want to run, but I haven’t been able to get over the hump of running while wearing a mask. (I live in a neighborhood where there are at least some people around, even at 5am. I am committed to wearing a mask when I am out and about.)

Invest time on hobbies. During those early morning hours I study Chinese to improve my literacy. Though I haven’t posted much here, I am trying to write daily (I continue to use 750 Words, which helps me with quantity, even if the quality is terrible).

Eat cookies. Sometimes I eat only a few; sometimes I end up eating over half the box. This is not the greatest coping mechanism, though it is something I have done because my frustration tolerance is sometimes low and impulse control is hard.

Walk during meetings. I’m that person who often joins a video call by telephone. This is related to technological deficits, as well as willfulness: If the meeting doesn’t require video presence, then I will take the less stimulating option of audio only. I occasionally quip that I’m like tuna: If I stop moving, I will die. If I’m able to walk during a meeting, that not only helps me dispel anxious energy, but also reduces the likelihood that I will get distracted by e-mail or other tasks during the meeting. This also helps me feel like I’m taking advantage of the summer weather while we still have it.

Talk to myself. Out loud. And often in an effort to meet and greet whatever emotion I’m feeling. (Hang in there with me.) Earlier this week I exclaimed much louder than I intended, “I feel so anxious!!!” and then proceeded with this conversation:

Hello, Anxiety! What brings you here today? Are you enjoying this summer weather? What are you worried about? What are you trying to tell me today? What can I do to help you feel better?

This is a concrete way to acknowledge whatever it is I am feeling because avoiding emotions is generally impossible and ineffective: It’ll come out some other way (e.g., eating half a box of cookies).

Observe the sky. The sky is bigger than me. The pandemic is bigger than me. The sky changes. The pandemic will change. I want to witness the sky. I want to witness the pandemic. To stop and look at the sky—the clouds, the moon, the sun, the colors—allows me to pause and claim time that sometimes never feels like mine.

Try to make other people laugh. During this time of differing degrees of isolation, sharing laughter with someone is a treasure. Sometimes the humor is admittedly dark, though I much prefer that people get it out of their systems with trusted confidants, rather than on others (like patients).

Sleep. Sometimes sleep doesn’t feel restful—I am sorry to confess that, sometimes, my dreams center on Covid-19—and occasionally I wake up from sleep thinking about all the things I should do related to the pandemic. Having a fixed “get out of bed” time helps with regulating sleep.

Thank people. There is no way any of us could manage this ridiculous time by ourselves. There are so many people to thank: The janitors who clean and sanitize spaces to keep us all healthy. The grocer who is there so you can buy food. The doctors and nurses who provide Covid-19 testing and counseling. The sanitation staff who continue to empty out the garbage and recycling bins. The plumbers who fix emergency sewage leaks. The person on the street who acknowledges you and makes an effort to stay at least six feet away. The bus drivers who continue to transport essential workers around the city. The first responders, including police, who are kind to the seemingly increasing number of people who are sleeping outside. God/the Universe/whatever Deity that I still have a job, a stable place to live, and, thus far, good health.

Do you have other suggestions?


Categories
COVID-19 Homelessness Medicine Nonfiction Observations Policy Seattle

The Space Between Us.

I am one of the few people walking through downtown Seattle these days. Most of the people outside are people who slept outside the night before. Sometimes they are still sleeping in sleeping bags or tattered boxes when I walk past. They’ve always been there, but now that there are much fewer people outside, they seem to be everywhere.

The other people walking through downtown in the morning fall into two groups: People going to work, like me, and people walking their dogs. The people out and about in the morning are much more likely to wear face masks. The evening crowd seems to be younger and they are much less likely to wear face masks.

I see the magnolia trees bloom. Their pastel petals are already falling off to make room for new leaves. The soft pink cherry blossoms are already gone; the tree limbs are already full of fresh green leaves.

The offices now have bottles of liquid hand sanitizer from local distilleries. The hand sanitizer coming out of the wall dispensers have floral and chemical notes.

Every staff person should have their own set of cloth face masks. There are two in a bag. Volunteers sewed and packaged them. One of mine is dark blue with intersecting white lines. The other is light blue with a large pattern that is reminiscent of paisley.

Several people staying in our shelters have tested positive for coronavirus. There haven’t been “clusters” of cases yet, just one here, another one there. Staff show up to work, don their cloth face masks, put on gloves, and wipe down surfaces with disinfectant when they can. Some people staying in shelters cough and sneeze. Most put on the surgical face masks that staff give to them and try to stay away from other people, but where are they to go? A few are unable or unwilling to wear face masks. Staff continue to don their cloth face masks, put on gloves, and wipe down surfaces.

People are moving from congregate shelter settings into motel and hotel rooms. What will happen when people have their own private spaces? Their own bathrooms, their own beds, their own doors that they can lock? This reduces the likelihood of disease transmission. What else does this reduce? Hypervigilance? Paranoia? Pain? Substance use? (Or maybe it increases all of those things?)

The nurses are amazing. They try to assess for respiratory symptoms from six feet away, a subtle dance that we’ve all had to learn how to do quickly. Maybe it’s a chronic cough. Maybe it’s flu-like symptoms. Maybe it’s coronavirus.

The internal coronavirus team is amazing. They organize the waterfall of data and quickly refer people to the county isolation and quarantine sites. The system has started to move faster, but it’s not fast enough. And what are we to do when the isolation and quarantine sites won’t accept our referrals? Who holds the balance between liability and public health? What will the emergency departments say when it is the fear of acute withdrawal, not the actual withdrawal itself, that results in a visit from someone with coronavirus?

When I start feeling angry, I pause and realize that my colleagues in hospitals have even more reasons to feel anger. I’m not misreading the guidance: Following a high risk exposure to someone with confirmed coronavirus, staff should continue to work even if asymptomatic. Of course, I know why: The system needs health care workers to work during this pandemic. But what is the message this sends to individual workers? You might get sick, you might contribute to asymptomatic spread at work. The people who live with you might get sick. Despite this worry for yourself and those around you, please continue to work. And because we don’t have enough tests right now, we won’t test you until you start to demonstrate symptoms.

(What about the grocery store workers and farm workers? Do their employers provide face masks? Are they part of unions? Do they have health insurance?)

You are essential, you are a critical worker, you are immune to worry and anxiety. Right? This is no time to worry about yourself because we also don’t have time to worry about you.

I see the pairs of police officers leaning against their cars on Pike and Pine, their arms crossed. The sun stretches its warm rays across the sound and the new leaves rustle in the spring breeze. My cloth mask is mildly damp from the humidified air moving in and out of my lungs. I make brief eye contact with the person approaching me. We make time to worry about each other and the physical space between us grows.

Categories
COVID-19 Homelessness Medicine Seattle

Some Notes Related to COVID-19.

Some notes:[1. Personal notes that reflect my own opinions, not those of my employer!]

To my knowledge, as of this writing, no individual staying in our shelter or housing programs has tested positive for COVID-19. (Note: Only a fraction of them have been tested.) This continues to boggle my mind. There may come a time very soon when I will look back on this post and think, “Well, that was quaint.”

I received a phone call from a medical epidemiologist this afternoon. Among other things, he said that his job is “to get swabs into people’s noses”. I won’t lie: I had to stifle a laugh.

The medical epidemiologist also shared that there is apparently a shortage of “viral media”, though he didn’t want to “get into the sordid details” about that. My secret source commented that the cause of the shortage of viral media is a shortage of bovine serum albumin. Holy cow.

I haven’t talked so much about nasal anatomy and swabs in my life, even as a medical student learning anatomy. The FDA has apparently approved self-swabs for COVID-19 testing, which include sampling from the anterior nares (nose picking) and mid-turbinates, both of which are easier to access than the nasopharyngeal region (the experience of which has been described as “brain tickling” or a “brain biopsy”). Supplies are limited, though, and we don’t know how to access them.

Homeless shelters and other congregate settings are the lowest priority to receive personal protective equipment (PPE). The only way these settings rise in priority is if there is a confirmed case. Thus, volunteers have made cloth face masks for PPE. It’s wonderful and terrible at the same time.

With Washington State’s “stay home, stay healthy” order, most of the people now on the streets are pushing overflowing carts, wearing soiled blankets, carrying stuffed trash bags, and carrying broken backpacks because they have no homes in which to stay. It is hard to witness this.

I appreciated Ed Yong’s article about How the Pandemic Will End. You may, too.


Categories
Consult-Liaison COVID-19 Education Medicine

Vulnerability and Resilience.

We had our medical staff meeting on Friday, which was the first time we had all convened since the COVID-19 epidemic was announced in Seattle-King County.

I shared with the team the following framework, which is from a paper about demoralization.[1. It is common for other medical specialties to request a psychiatric consult for a patient who seems depressed. Consultation psychiatrists often learn that it is demoralization, not depression, that results in consult requests. (Though demoralization and depression share features, most psychiatrists agree that they are distinct conditions. These distinctions are discussed further in the paper.)]

The authors note that:

Demoralization refers to the “various degrees of helplessness, hopelessness, confusion, and subjective incompetence” that people feel when sensing that they are failing their own or others’ expectations for coping with life’s adversities. Rather than coping, they struggle to survive.

and later comment that “[a]cknowledging suffering and restoring dignity are potent in strengthening a patient’s resilience to stress.”

This is the valuable table from the paper:

During this extraordinary time of the COVID-19 pandemic, this framework may help you, whether you work in medicine or not. Sometimes the act of putting words to our emotions can alleviate our discomfort and help us feel more empowered.

We may all feel overwhelmed with the emotions and experiences on the left side of the table. Many, if not all, of us during the past few weeks have felt confused, helpless, and resentful. We have felt lonely and isolated, though we may recognize that we’re lonely and isolated all together. Sometimes fear gets the best of us and we wonder if anything we do matters. Vulnerability is often an uncomfortable position.

Remember that there are things we can all do to nudge us over to the right side of the table. Thanking others helps us reconnects us with people. Looking for the helpers can inspire us and give us hope. Taking a breath (or two or three) and slowing down helps us pursue clarity so we can find the signal in the midst of all the noise. The choices we make in each moment can help us recognize and cultivate our own courage and resilience. How we choose to react to what’s happening around us can shape our purpose. Do we react in anger or kindness? Do we have faith that we will do the best that we can in face of uncertainty, or do we assume the worst in others and ourselves?

To those of you who work in emergency departments and hospitals, regardless of your role, we thank you for your courage and efforts. We in outpatient settings are doing our best to keep people healthy and out of EDs. We all look forward to the time when this will be just a memory.


Categories
COVID-19 Nonfiction Observations Seattle

Spacious in Seattle.

Downtown Seattle isn’t completely empty, but there is suddenly more space. Buses zoom by, though they carry few passengers. Rush hour traffic is a faint memory as cars speed along the avenues. Instead of weaving my way through crowds of people, I now have meters of sidewalk all to myself.

I went on a cookie break this afternoon. The sole employee in the cookie shop saw me pause at the front door while I read the sign: “Express window is open”. From inside, she beckoned me to walk three meters to the right, and when I arrived at the window, she slid it open.

“Hi.”

“Hi. Do you have day-olds?”

“Yes, right here.” She waved a gloved hand over the small basket sitting just inside the window. Cookies, stacked three high, were wrapped tightly in saran wrap. I selected a standard chocolate chip stack and a double chocolate stack.

While we waited for the credit card reader, we talked about these extraordinary times.

“Thanks for providing cookies to those of us who are working.”

“Thank you for buying them!”

“Yes, I’m glad that this shop is open. At least we have jobs.”

She nodded vigorously, then added, “Yeah, we are lucky.”

About an hour earlier, I asked one of the younger nurses at the agency how she was doing. She said that she was doing okay, then shared that she was grateful that she still had a job. She grimaced while she shared this anecdote: “Have you heard of This Fancy Restaurant? They laid off all of their staff on the same day. They can’t even collect unemployment.”


After tucking the two stacks of cookies into my coat, I saw this:

handwash

The restaurant serves a type of Asian cuisine. The man behind the counter was helping a customer, so I didn’t go in to thank him. Had I done so, I think I would’ve started crying.